Listen to the Episode

 

Wayne: Today we’re gonna be talking about how to figure out what it is that you enjoy doing. It’s a question that comes up a lot, I think, for young people. I think because when we’re in school it’s like, “What do you want to do with your life?” And it’s like, “I don’t know. I’ve only studied these 10 subjects.” So, it’s something that I think is an epidemic problem, people not knowing what they actually enjoy.

Cem: Also, there’s that high, that big pressure to kind of know what your passion, or work on your passion. People are, “Well, I don’t know my passion.” So, it kind of falls into that as well. Your passion is meant to be something that you enjoy. Yet people are like, “Well, I don’t know what that is yet.” And, it changes too.

Cem: One of the main things, especially, for finding what you enjoy is that you’ve only got a limited experience. If you’re young especially, you haven’t done much in your life other than, like you said, education. So, how can you suddenly figure out what you enjoy?

Cem: So, one of the main things, again, Gary Vee talks about a lot of the time is just actually try a bit of everything. You’ve got to taste stuff. Like how do you know you like a certain vegetable unless you’ve tried it?

Cem: I think often people are shocked at the variety, and the different types of jobs that are actually out there in the world, or businesses that people have created, and I think sometimes saturating yourself, or kind of throwing yourself into these new worlds that you didn’t even know existed is a bit of effort. But, at the same time, it means you’ve got a wide array of options in front of you that you can choose from.

Wayne: It’s very easy to get into that nice safety net place and that nice comfort zone where you like, do you know what? I know I can do this. I might not enjoy it, but you know what? It pays the bills, or do you know what? I’m good at it.

Cem: It’s all I know.

Wayne: Yeah, exactly, whereas actually if you expand your horizons a little bit, then I think you might stumble upon things that you never knew, A, existed or B, that you even had a talent at. And, sometimes even if you’re really lucky, a whole new career.

Cem: I think a lot of the time as well, you don’t start to enjoy something until you’ve suddenly get good at it. It’s like only then do you say, “Oh, actually that’s what I’m good at.” Same with me like at university, I did some media at sixth form, but then suddenly when I’ve done it at university, I started getting better. Then as soon as you start actually getting someone paying for you, suddenly you’re like, “Actually I really enjoyed this.” It’s something that kind of develops into something you start to enjoy.

Cem: So, accept that as well. Like anything you do, if you go start karate, it’s gonna hurt the first few times, but aside, as you start getting good at it, you start building up this motivation, and suddenly you really want to continue doing it.

Cem: Also, just be willing to accept that people change. You’re going to change, your personality changes. Once you enjoy it, it’s not always going to be that way. So, I guess that’s the law of diminishing returns as well.

Wayne: Did you ever do Karate Cem.

Cem: I did actually.

Wayne: Yeah, me too.

Cem: But, I think one time my mom left me there and didn’t pick me up and then I never went again.

Wayne: That is a great story. I love that.

Cem: Yeah. I was just sitting in the bar waiting for my mom for about three hours. Then someone was, “I’m sure your mom will turn up.” I was like, “I hope so.” And, then the next …

Wayne: Did you kick her ass when she … when you got home?

Cem: I wish. I think I’d only been like three lessons, otherwise I probably would have put her in a headlock and been like, “Never leave me again.” So, that put me off Karate. I could have been like a really good martial artist, but …

Wayne: Yeah, so if you are going to try something new, make sure your mom picks you up.

Cem: Exactly.

Wayne: But yeah, I mean, one of the things that, I mean, we’ve talked about before, and I think this comes from Alan Watts maybe, is this idea of what would you do if money wasn’t an option? As in, all of your bases are covered, you don’t have to go to work, you literally are just existing. You’re going to be fine. What would you do with your spare time?

Wayne: Sometimes I think people don’t stop and think like, “Actually, if I had all the time in the world, what would I spend my time doing?” I think once you do discover what that is, or even just think about it, because sometimes people know that, but they haven’t thought about it. Once that penny clicks, I think actually you then put yourself in a very … It’s such a strong north star, because you’re like, “Well, that’s all I want to do with my time, so I’m going to aim for that.”

Wayne: There is a thing, and I think this is why students often end up going in a direction, a university, or whatever is most often the things that you really enjoy are the things that you’re good at. I think this is because there’s some psychological thing there where it’s just like repeat kind of affirmation that, “Yeah, you’re good at this, so you should pursue it.” and so because people are telling you you’re good at it, that makes you feel good and then you go, “Yeah, I really enjoy this.”

Wayne: I think that was the thing that happened for me with my acting. I looked at all my grades and they were consistently good, and I enjoyed it, and I was like, “Great. That’s my career choice now.”

Wayne: So, think about the things that you’re good at as well, but also do try, when you are trying new things, don’t give up immediately. Experiment for a little bit, see if you can get good at it. Obviously give yourself a timeframe within which to do that within. But yeah, give yourself the opportunity to become really good at something, and then you might discover that actually that you enjoy it.

Cem: You touched on what other people see you doing as well. Sometimes that influences what you enjoy, and in a negative way, because suddenly …

Wayne: That’s true.

Cem: … people can say, “Well, you should do that because you kind of good at this thing, and it kind of puts you into a box as well.” So, you’ve got to also be mindful of there can be that negative pressure to do something that you think what you should enjoy, and people tell you should enjoy, but actually you don’t.

Wayne: Yeah. You know what actually? On that note, I think had I not discovered acting, I think I would have ended up, and talk about two polar opposites, ended up being an accountant because a lot of the teachers wanted … We did taster lessons of business studies, and one of those was accounting and the teacher was like, “You’re actually really good at this. Maybe you should.” I was like, “No!” So, yeah.

Cem: As he danced out of class.

Wayne: Yeah. But yeah. So, no, I think that’s a very good point, actually. There can be pressure, because you do have a talent in something doesn’t necessarily mean it’s something that you’re going to enjoy necessarily. So, I think both boxes have to be ticked.

If you want any questions answered, or if you have any ideas for anythings you’d like us to address, send us an email, Wayne@powerfulnonsense.com or Cem@powerfulnonsense.com, or you can look us up on the Twitterz @PN_Podcast, and we will take it into consideration. And also, please do leave us a nice little review on the old iTunes. It really does help get the word out there for the show. Five stars or more, greatly appreciated. If you have a friend or family member that is wrestling with this, “I don’t know what to do with my life.”